Incongruous Balderdash

I got a forward in my email and it made my day. Don’t know the source but would add the appropriate link if someone pointed it out.
HER DIARY
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day [...]

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set [...]

When you get a cultural and genetic amalgamation in a class at a foreign university, numerous opportunities / occasions arise for one to display one’s experiences or the relative lack of it
The incident in reference here is of a particular female german colleague of mine who has been in my class for the [...]